I guess the rough thing is that as one gets older, time becomes so much more precious. When I was young I had so much of it. These days, not as much. My biggest struggle is when I get the free time, I want to enjoy it through loafing and doing what I love to do, which is watching movies, listening to music, noodling around on my guitar, and playing with my kids. When I have free time, I don't really want to embark on any new challenges. But that kind of bugs me. There is a divide within me. That's what I'm trying to figure out. Either I need to be at peace with using my free time to relax, or I need to realize my creative ambitions by using some of that precious free time to create music and movies. I am thinking the answer lays somewhere in not seeing my creative activity as challenging work, but as healing and healthful fun. I think it is how I am framing my creativity. I know I am not happy not making creative output.
When I was young I was insecure and needed to prove what a hotshot I was. At 46 I wholeheartedly and truthfully do not care about what anybody thinks about me anymore. I know my kids love me. I have a partner in my life who treats me with dignity and gives me unconditional love. That's more than good enough for me. My creative work always helped me figure out parts of my life which were flailing or failing. Now that I have found peace, do I even need to create anymore?
VID OF THE DAY:
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